• 11
  • May
    2010

Many people die without ever discussing their wishes regarding their own end-of-life medical treatment. They don't discuss it with their doctor, their loved ones, their clergy, and certainly not with an estate planning attorney. Suppose, before they were dying, we had asked people in advance whether they would want aggressive medical treatment ("do anything and everything to keep me alive, no matter what!"), or if they would choose to stop aggressive treatment at some point and opt for palliative care that would allow them to die in peace.

It seems unlikely that they would simply have no opinion.

So why is that opinion never expressed to the people who will need to know what it is?

The topic is unpleasant, for one thing, and there may be some uneasiness about telling loved ones or clergy that you want an option that you are afraid they will disagree with. 

And, there's good old-fashioned denial; "if I don't talk about it, maybe it'll never happen."

All of these reasons are understandable, but unhelpful. Your family, friends, doctors, clergy, lawyers and anyone else who is involved in end-of-life issues is probably more ready to hear your plan than you think. Even if they don't approve of the plan, it's better for them to know what it is. These are the people who are going to interpret your wishes somehow, so it will always be better if you spell those wishes out.

An estate planning attorney can help you express your wishes with a living will. A health care surrogate designation identifies the person who will make health care decisions for you if you are unable to do so.

Don't put the discussion off. You have an opinion, and it is going to matter. An experienced estate planning attorney can help you put your plan in place.